Originally written on May 20, 2022 I like to revisit the past to cringe at the mistakes punish myself for not knowing better its as though I can’t let myself have all this growth without punishment I can do the work make changes try new things I can make healthier decisions but I’m not allowed to forgive accept my past self as I was what would happen how would I even feel what would it be like in a space where I stop limiting myself retreat from the inner voice shouting no embrace the one asking me to try

Originally written on January 26, 2022 I’m feeling tender. stagnant and undecided I can’t help but slip into this sad space struggling with the bigger picture and the small ones the tiny ones that make up every hour every minute I’m not hungry in the morning my clothes feel weird I can’t get comfortable on the couch take a walk can’t decide which route to take feels like the thousandth time I need some change it can be something small looking to shake up the repetition

Originally written on April 10, 2022 start here with you clear out all the noise remember where the truth comes from take your own hand hold your own heart remind yourself how far you’ve come take your next steady breath repeat

Originally written on April 5, 2022 spring is waking up slowly but steadily every day warming birds chirping calling us all to sing sighs of relief hope finally defrosting ready to watch the earth come back to life renew replenish i’ve been waiting thank you for coming back

Originally Written on August 6, 2021 The sounds of my life water lapping up against the dock skateboard wheels on the pavement wind blowing through leaves buzzing cicadas bird song squirrels crunching on walnuts from the tree in my backyard pigeons on the roof chatter of families walking together deep breaths and sighs of relief the snores of my partner scratching of pen on paper

Originally written on December 14, 2021 Eyes half closed and puffy. I turn on the kettle. I thought I had slept well but I keep waking up exhausted. It’s as though I close my eyes and wait for morning rather than fall asleep. I bought vitamin D. Hopefully that will carry me through these short dark days. I’m not much fun to talk to. Making it out of bed feels like a monumental task. My body is here writing. My brain is softly floating away looking for a place to hide for a while. I can’t blame it.