PinnedWhere to start?I don’t finish things. I’ve been saying for years “I’ll get around to it”, or “It’s not ready yet”. I’ve been holding back in hopes of perfection. In hopes that no one will criticize me and that I’ll write the most incredible thing anyone has ever written. No pressure. Actually…Journey1 min readJourney1 min read
Oct 24, 2022LongingOriginally written on September 15, 2021 For me longing is all about being stuck in the past or pushing towards the future. I forget that the present exists. I lose myself in replaying moments from my past using a cool old camera filter. It makes everything look crackled and intentional…Longing1 min readLonging1 min read
Oct 17, 2022WonderingOriginally written on June 10, 2022 I often wonder if there’s a point in time when I’ll just be. When I’ll feel confident and comfortable. Will I have the understanding of life I always presumed adults had. I don’t feel like there was an invisible threshold that I passed and all of a sudden I was an adult human in the same way I pictured adults to be when I was a kid. I still feel uncertain and constantly second guess. There has been no major shift aside from feeling more myself every year older I get. Wishing I had known this version of myself longer. Spent less time worrying. Figuring out who I was versus who other people wanted me to be.Growing Up1 min readGrowing Up1 min read
Oct 10, 2022GlassOriginally written on December 12, 2021 The glass shattered as it hit the wall. All of a sudden it wasn’t whole anymore. Tiny shards of the thin lamp were embedded in the shaggy carpet. Instant regret. Feeling out of control. Why? As the delicate projectile went flying through the air time slowed. So slow that there was time to regret the decision before it even began to crack. The sound alerted them. The broken glass became the centre of attention. Not the broken little girl who was angry and sad but told to be happy.Feelings1 min readFeelings1 min read
Sep 5, 2022MoveOriginally written on August 20, 2022 I changed my room around a lot as a kid and teen. It was the one space that was mine. Well, it was mostly mine. I had to share it with the kids my mom babysat. Aside from that it was mostly mine. I…Short Essay2 min readShort Essay2 min read
Aug 29, 2022AloneOriginally written on August 21, 2022 i didn’t realize feeling alone was common to be surrounded by people smile on the face life of the party still feeling isolated feeling completely alone unseen changing shape to fit the mold to be the person each situation wanted me to be constantly changing hurting breaking for others because i didn’t know myself didn’t know how to be myself i’d never been myselfPoem1 min readPoem1 min read
Aug 22, 2022BeginningsOriginally written on June 29, 2022 I’m good at beginnings sparks of ideas flowing quickly tiny snapshots of what could be I’m not so good at middles or ends I run out of steam get judgemental second guess myself it’s easy to start over more difficult to finish this whole project has been about words on paper for almost a whole year maybe it’s time for a shift time for words that complete the storiesPoem1 min readPoem1 min read
Jul 25, 2022ParentsOriginally written on July 13, 2021 My parents are people too. I forget that sometimes. It’s not something I really thought about as a kid. I don’t think I realized it until I was in my mid 20’s. Until I was in therapy. Until I wrote this down. I forget…Family2 min readFamily2 min read
Jul 18, 2022BrokenOriginally written on April 24, 2022 I broke a small yellow tea cup a few weeks ago. A rogue spice jar of cinnamon fell out of the cupboard and landed on the cup sending it off the windowsill and on to the floor. I never really used it. It’s main purpose was to look cute. That said I really liked it. The deep yellow in contrast with the greeny-blue of my kitchen walls made me smile. The broken cup has been sitting on my kitchen table since the incident. All the little pieces are stacked inside the largest piece of the cup that survived and all of those are nestled on the unbroken saucer. I can’t bring myself to throw them away.Essay1 min readEssay1 min read
Jul 11, 2022A MomentI slipped for a moment forgot you existed all my troubles quietly slipped away the release went unnoticed the relief was overwhelming feeling free awake to possibility hoping for something more allowing myself to enjoy a blissful moment then i rememberedPoem1 min readPoem1 min read